Quieting The Mean Voices

Good morning!

Wow, some of you really love your marinara, and some of you can’t live without Alfredo. I love how we all have our different tastes and preferences. How we are all very DIFFERENT. That is something awesome!

We’re Each Unique

Something I’ve realized over the course of my 20+ years is this: We are each unique, special, and were given varying talents for different reasons.

And we should EMBRACE that!

{friends since we were 3 years old —Itz Linz and me!}

Instead, too often many of us might feel like we’re not good enough, skinny enough, fit enough, smart enough, or pretty enough. Often times this comes because of images, campaigns, TV ads, Facebook profile pictures, magazines, or even blogs that we see and read.

The Mean Voices

None of these are bad per say, but if we read or view them in the wrong mindset we could be setting ourselves up for failure. Or at least perceived failure, and then the mean voices enter our head and start to chatter away.

You all know what I am talking about, I am sure.

For example, for me, when an anorexic, I dealt with psychological issues way deeper than “I just want to be skinny.” And during that very fragile time the mean chattering voices took their toll on my mind and on my body.

They said things like “you’ll never be like her.” “That would never work for you, you are too fat and weigh too much.” “No person could ever love you like that.” And on and on.

It was totally awful, and seemingly unstoppable! It was like I had another person in my head telling me what to do, what I wasn’t, and what I couldn’t have or do all.the.time. I was compared to everything and everyone at any given moment of the day.

Would I ever say or do those things to my sister? Or a friend?


But inside my head it was okay.

Or was it?

NO, my friends. It was not.

{2 of my sisters, and a cute nephew}

All that negative junk and mean chattering voices were taxing, unhealthy, and really lonely. And it never made me a better person. In fact, I became more reclusive, lonely, and quite unhappy.

Well, the onslaught I am talking about with my previous disorder may be similar to images and words we view and read during our daily routines EVERY day.

You see, those external cues (magazines, newspapers, pinterest, blogs, etc.) are vying for spots in your brain waves to convince you that you must look like, act like, eat like, dress like, or even be like certain products, people, or fads. And that is where all the mean chattering voices begin.

The mean voices tell you/us that we can’t have that, be that, or look like that. Ever. Those voices are evil and are not uplifting at all!

You Can Make The Mean Voices Leave

But guess what, you can RISE above that! You can make the chatter go away!

Cool, eh?!

In my recovery from anorexia and subsequently from binge eating, I had to (re)learn to like myself. Then I had to learn to (re)love myself. And then I had to (re)learn that people are not judging me the way I used to judge me.

For many months I worked on this. Months!

It finally all came together when I decided to just be ME. I decided to SPEND time with myself. I decided to laugh more, to get outside my comfort zone more, and to stop comparing myself to others.

And you know what?! I found out I LOVED myself. That I was pretty great. And that I could do tough things!

Guess what happened to all the mean voices? Um, yah, they were GONE.

I took power over my own mind and body and was able to quiet the mean voices and all their nonesense chatter.

Those people who are the happiest (and usually the healthiest) are those who LOVE themselves, who forget about what OTHERS think about them (or even how they compare to such people or images), and then SERVE those around them.

So in a few simple ways,

Quieting The Mean Voices

  • Spend time with yourself!
  • Tell yourself all the great things you can do and are!
  • Write 10 things you’re thankful for every morning.
  • If needed, avoid certain websites, magazines, or TV shows that bring you down.
  • Look in the mirror and name off all the things you LOVE about yourself every evening.
  • Smile at a stranger.
  • Give a real, meaningful compliment.
  • Send a nice note to someone who might be sad.
  • Spend time in nature as much as possible!

These things helped me SO much in quieting the mean voices, and now, I can happily say they rarely show up when reading magazines, seeing ads, viewing blogs or Facebook.

{Funnily enough though, they do come about once a month on a regular basis…..hmmmmm :) But I am grateful for that lovely, blessed gift nonetheless. I just know that I need to be more vigilant or on my guard a bit more during those times because of possible lowered self-esteem.}

{me and my little bro}

ANYONE can have this freedom and joy I am talking about. You CAN get rid of those evil, mean voices that tell you lies. You can be FREE of those awful thoughts or ideas. And you CAN be done with any emotional or disordered eating that comes from such mean and evil thoughts.

Learning to (re)love yourself may be more difficult than you’re willing to admit, but the effort is WELL worth it.


Have a GREAT day :)

What things do YOU do to quiet the mean voices?? What is something really awesome about YOU?? <–I want to hear them! Go ahead and write ’em out!

P.s. Anyone looking for extra help, check out my Fitness Perks Coaching Services page. I have helped tons of women be DONE with disordered eating, binge or emotional eating, and GET their life back. You can be NEXT!

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  1. I think we shouldn’t be so strict for our own selves, very useful tips.

  2. Yay! I love when I make your blog… so exciting!! I did your 50’s workout this morning, came back, ate breakfast while reading blogs and saw my pic! Love it!! Something awesome is that I know a lead a very healthy lifestyle… it’s not perfect, but I know it’s pretty good, so when I indulge or miss a workout I cut myself some slack and tell myself it’s not a pattern it’s just one (or two, or three) times and I’ll get right back into it. Then I go to your blog for extra motivation, recipes, and workouts :) :)

    • Well, you’re gorgeous–so I am lucky to have ya on the blog! :)

      I love your thoughts–so true, it is just fine not to always be right on track or on schedule, because that is LIFE and it’s awesome!!! Just like you! Miss you!!

  3. Woot! :)

  4. I think you’re psychic. Yep. I’ve decided.

  5. Great tips- I’m going to have to remember those for when I have a rough patch! I also love that I keep seeing blog posts that are things I need to be reminded of…it’s like a sign :)

  6. Loved this! I struggle with these mean voices on a daily basis and it sucks! I have come a long way however, because now they’re quieter and I am usually able to fight back with more positive things but it’s still hard, so thank you for this! I am learning to love myself and it takes time, but I really do love the art I make and think it’s pretty awesome (something I am not always able to see and admit). <3

  7. yes!! this post is full of awesome things! i know that i can be really hard on myself, and since i’ve recognized that i’ve been able to ease up on myself a bit. every once in awhile those “mean voices” still come up, but talking through things with my husband always helps me put things into perspective. :)

    • Yes, the husband is always nice to have around for that!

      And you are doing amazing–everything is going to be alright….it already is!!! SO happy for you :)

  8. learning to love and accept yourself is SO hard and its something I will probably always struggle with. when I hear those mean voices creep back up I shut them out by thinking of all the amazing things I’ve accomplished and how grateful I am for the people that love me so much.

    one thing that I love about myself is how hard i love people…i know that sounds silly but I have the biggest heart ever and all I want is for people to be happy and loved…it’s how i’ve always been.

  9. Love the positivity. :) I am definitely way too hard on myself, but am learning to lighten up a bit and realize that no one is perfect (and no one expects me to be perfect!).
    Thanks for such a great post! xoxo
    And whoa- you have a big family!

  10. Cristin says:

    Thank you so so so much for writing this post. I think I am going to end up re readinig it a few times to have it really sink in.

    • You are welcome!! I promise, if you work at it, and start saying more nice things over and over about yourself, you will realize how amazing you are and how incredible your potential is! Have a lovely day :)

  11. I love the part about being in nature. It centers me and bring so much peace to my life. This is a beautiful post. Thank you!

  12. i love this post because i do think most women go through phases with self talk and it could be about anything from weight to family to work. really great tips!

  13. You said it so perfectly, Annette! As you know, I’m dealing with redeveloping a positive relationship with food, and have noticed that sometimes its difficult for me to read certain fitness blogs. When people come off as too perfect to be real, it really starts to breed negative thoughts in my own mind about why I can’t be the same way. Thankfully I’m finally aware of this, so some positive changes should be arising!

    Thanks for writing about this :)

    • You are amazing!! I hope I don’t come off as being too perfect or whatevs, b/c I am FAR from it, but I also want to spread the hope and positivity that it CAN be overcome. It’s a tricky thing for sure!

      Have a GREAT day! You’re beautiful inside and out, my friend :)

  14. Oh hunnie <3 beautiful post!!!!! I am going to share it on my FB page for my followers to read 😀 XO

    It's so beautiful that you are so open, just like I am :) <3 Anyways, I too have mean voices, but I put my positive mindset on and everything gets better! We have to focus on the good!

  15. Thank you for this!! I found you through A Dash of Meg :)

    I had a down moment this morning and when I told my husband why (via text), his response was: “It’s all in your head and I refuse to join you there when it comes to this.” I don’t know if I could’ve asked for a better response. It’s so true. And he stood by that and did not join me in my conversation or let it continue.

  16. Megan @ Fiterature says:

    Well said, my friend. I think that when my “voices”start creepin’, I pray first. Because ei know that these thoughts are not from God. He loves me and thinks I am perfect. After all, He made me.
    Second, I try to remind myself that I work hard. I eat well, I exercise, I surround myself with loving friends and family. How I look or how I feel is WHO I AM- it’s a result of the choices I make. So I need to also make the choice to love that result.
    It works oh, 90% of the time. Ha!


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