Compliments + Book Review

Hey people! Reminder: life is good. Yes, yes it is.

Busy, but good.

By the way, don’t forget, you have until tomorrow 9 p.m. EST to enter the Vega Sport GIVEAWAY!

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Compliments

The other day I received one of the kindest compliments. It was so unexpected I almost didn’t know what to say! Plus, a bunch of people were around so I didn’t want to be over-the-top grateful and draw even more attention to myself.

Then I realized: I love but don’t love receiving compliments. Hah.

Let me explain.

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I believe it is healthy to enjoy compliments. I believe, even more so, that there is an added wellness benefit when we give others the joy of receiving compliments by our kind words. It is powerful stuff!

Compliments have the ability to MAKE our days better. To encourage us to lift heavier. To be better wives. To be faster runners. To be more encouraging friends. Or to be more free in our dancing.

I dated a guy once who was so competitive in everything that he hardly gave me any compliments (it was weird, I know). I thought it was just ‘his personality,’ but I’ve come to realize that people who are not comfortable with themselves or have lower self-esteem or feel threatened in any way, do NOT give out compliments freely.

Hmmmmm.

This means that if we aren’t giving compliments freely, we are either jealous, afraid, scared, or feel threatened or competitive.

OUCH.

I can be totally honest here : I have done that before. It is sad, but yes, I have withheld compliments or a kind word because I was jealous, prideful, and didn’t feel good about myself at that time.

Even MORE OUCH.

{TRIPLE Ouch : my skills at personal photography. Hah}

Luckily, I am happy to say that I became conscious of the power of compliments in the last few months and have become (hopefully) better at giving compliments (and better at comparing myself with others in that same vein).

And you know what?! It makes ME feel awesome to help OTHERS feel awesome.

For the record, my husband (not that selfish guy I dated before meeting my husband) is AMAZING at giving compliments. And I think that is one of the main reasons I have been able to completely give up disordered eating habits and my ‘older negative’ self and become a stronger, better version of myself.

But I am still bad at accepting compliments. (I just awkwardly say thank you and stare at my feet. Why can’t I look ’em in the eye and thank them with my eyes and face to show them how much that comment meant to me?! Gah!)

{one of my favs of my bridals. circa 2010}

Just for fun, I am going to list a few compliments I’ve received lately, and in the comments section, I want to HEAR what YOU all have received as compliments lately!!

It’s not a boasting thing, but something to remind us of the beautiful power of words, a smile, or a kind thought.

To get us warmed up, here are a few I’ve received this year:

  • “You look so happy.” {A stranger told me this. Fun!}
  • “Your form is amazing. You remind me of all those fitness models in magazines.” {Said to me after I taught a BodyPUMP class, so the ‘form’ was regarding weight lifting form}
  • “You did a fantastic job on leading the team meeting.” {Said at work}
  • “You are so beautiful!” {From my amazing husband}
  • “You are so strong. You look really good.” {I think my class members are getting too nice…… hah}
  • “You are such a great role model to so many people.” {From my amazing friend/awesome blogger Ashley}

These have helped me come a long way, especially since not everything in my life is totally peachy. Compliments are powerful!

YOU ALL rock!

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“The Paris Wife” Book Review

I participate as a fellow book-lover blogger in Julie’s book club.

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So here is my {short} review of this month’s book, “The Paris Wife,” if you’re interested (overall I give the book just 1 star. Follow me on Goodreads!):

  • I did not like the book’s characters at all. Ernest Hemingway is a turd in my eyes. His wife has no spine.
  • The only redeeming thing about the book was it was well-written (flowed well) and well-researched.
  • I understand that this book was based off of Hemingway’s life and that it was just a novel, but most of the facts were true to his life. He left his wife for another and then another and then another. That is just cowardice, pride and complete lack of understanding of love in my opinion.
  • I am not all about everything ending perfectly, but it SO bothered me that his (first) wife, Hadley, whom the book was ‘narrated’ by, would not stand up for herself!!! Gah. She could have saved their marriage….but then again, he was so selfish and wrapped up in his work, I don’t know if he deserved her.
  • This book did capture that generation pretty well, but it still bothers me that Ernest was supposedly such a great writer and yet lived such a prideful, selfish life. I don’t like supporting jerks, can you tell?!

On that note, read the book if you want to read a sad tale of selfishness and losing a marriage because of false expectations and pride. (seriously) It might make you become very aware that there are selfish men…and it may make you want to find someone who is so not like that. Can you tell that I am grateful for the love of my life?!! Don’t settle, people!

Have a LOVELY day–and make it lovelier by giving out some compliments with a smile 😉

YOUR turn–what compliments have YOU received lately?!! And HOW can I be better at accepting compliments?! What are YOUR suggestions?! Have YOU read “The Paris Wife”–what did YOU think??

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Comments

  1. I love giving compliments! Like you though, I’m hooooorrible at accepting them! I need to work on that!

  2. my friend came to the gym with me this weekend and was like woa look at your arms! hehe. i catch people all the time NOT accepting compliments. whenever i compliment someone at work, she’s like, “oh, no…. blah blah blah” and i always say: SAY THANK YOU! :) accept it and embrace the compliment! you deserve it!

  3. Not touching that book. I like happy books…speaking of books, I got my giveaway book! Thanks!

  4. i totally feel you on the accepting compliments..it’s always made me awkward…especially all the ones i’ve gotten about my weight loss. i think i’m getting better at it though..lol. and i LOVE giving compliments to people, i’m always giving them out :) i have noticed that there are certain people who almost never compliment…i think you are right on with your thoughts on why that is.

    last compliment I got was from my boyfriend who told me I was incredibly beautiful when I got dressed up for brunch on sunday :)

  5. Compliments are easier for me to give than they are for me to receive!

  6. LOVE this post! I really need to give more compliments because it’s so true that it makes me happy to make others happy!

  7. you just make me smile. :) great post. i definitely have a difficult time accepting compliments… i find myself often responding by saying “oh no no, i don’t know what you’re talking about” or like you saying “thank you” and awkwardly looking around. ha. definitely something i’d like to work on! :) i do enjoy giving compliments though. it makes my day to see people smile and feel good about themselves.

    • Yes, awkwardness abounds when compliments come around…hah. You do a nice job of making others feel great, Ashley! Enjoy your day :)

  8. I think you’re awesome- and beautiful! (Now just say thanks and don’t look down at your feet!).
    Sincere compliments really mean the world- and it’s amazing what a few kind words can do to make someone’s day. I make a conscious effort to give (sincere) comments on a daily basis. I’m also really big on giving them at the gym- especially if I’ve noticed that someone has lost weight or gained more muscle tone- I know that I would want to hear that people notice those changes!

    • HAH. I laughed OUT loud when you said that nice stuff….because I started to blush and yes, LOOK down at my feet. GAHh!!!

      You’re probably one of the favs at that gym 😉

  9. Awesome post!! I am somewhat bad at accepting compliments too. I think it’s because I feel awkward being happy about them- I don’t want to come off as acting high and mighty! My fiance tells me all the time that he things I look fantastic and sexy :). It makes me feel so good about myself!

    • So true–I think we all feel like that. Apparently we all need to be better at this 😉

      I BET he said that! You’re beautiiful!

  10. I am horrible about accepting compliments, but you are right, it feels do nice to get them! :-) My husband throws compliments at me left and right, but usually I tend to ignore them or brush them off. I need to tell him how thankful and appreciative I am of his compliments, in hopes that they never stop! :-)

    • I bet he just wants to see you smile and say thank you 😉 Because he definitely truly means it…but DANG it’s hard! Hah. I do the same thing to my husband….. poor guy. Gotta work on that one!

  11. I always find it difficult getting compliments, but it feels so good to give them! What a great post lady :)

  12. What a great post – something that a lot of people can really identify with! I think compliments are a lot like gifts. When someone gives you a gift, at a holiday, for example, you feel like you have to give one back, and if you don’t have a gift to give in return, then you feel bad. Compliments are kind of the same. You feel awkward when you get one, and you feel like you need to give one back so that it’s not one-sided and if you don’t, then you feel awkward. But, my mom always said, “You give a gift when you want to and because you want to, not because a certain occasion calls for it.” So, that’s how I have tried to view compliments and how I try to be better about accepting them. It’s not like a scale that has to be even – you just hand them out when you want, because you want to, and you receive them just the same! :)

  13. I am willing to accept all those compliments that everyone above is bashful about receiving. I’m thoughtful that way. A compliment I get a lot is that I’m funny. I never get tired of this. But people who are paying attention will say that I’m very kind-hearted, which makes me feel even happier. I love the way you talk about your husband.

  14. SO true! The littlest compliments can make any day!! And giving them feels great too – especially when they are unexpected.

  15. Oh my god I love you Annette! You deserve all the compliments in the world!

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  1. […] wrote a great post on Tuesday about compliments and it really got me thinking. It’s so true that I give more compliments when I’m feeling good, […]

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