In Denial NO More

Heyyyyyyyy!

How are all ya’ll doing? I’m peachy! In case you were wondering 😉

The weekend’s over (yes, yes it is) and Monday is here, so life is just going to get better! No more denying the fact that Mondays rock and it’s okay to admit that!

I mean, I love my rest day and all (Sunday), and boy do I NEED it, but I really love the excitement of a new week too!

****

After reading, writing, and thinking about my response to tons of emails, questions, and consultations from readers (keep ’em coming, I love them!), I’ve decided that there is an underlying theme in my coaching in all of my responses to get their full LIFE back (or even getting a better LIFE)…..

….Whether that fuller LIFE to them means being thinner, fitter, without disordered eating habits, cleared of a diet mentality, in better health, done with crash diets, sticking to fitness goals, or totally cured of anorexia or bulimia…..

The best advice or step I can give to them and to YOU is to give up the denial. Give up the excuse(s). Give up the dishonesty to yourself. And give the gift of fitness to yourself.

There, I said it.

Honesty is HARD. {Being brutally honest is even harder….that’s why this post is hard for me to write to people I love!}

Honesty is the most hard when it has to do with yourself. We’re our own worst critics, so it’s easy to justify, explain away, or pretend things are fine or dandy when you KNOW they are not, because it is just YOU.

You don’t have to answer to anyone except yourself, so if you lie, only you (and if you’re religious, God), know(s) you’re lying.

{source}

In my eating disorder days I listened to no one and denied everything. I hated when people would confront me because I knew I had to say something….so I lied to them. I was so far down though, that I don’t even think I realized I was lying to myself as well.

Sounds crazy, right. Well, now it does. But back then I fully believed I was not skinny (though I was), and that everything was ‘normal.’ I thought it was normal to compare yourself to others and think about their weight all the time compared to yours, and to think about food all the time, and to weigh yourself at every waking moment.

Um, apparently not.

I guess that’s something I should mention…pre-first step, you have to come to the conclusion that you ARE lying to yourself in order to stop it.

Sounds crazy, but it’s true. Something so serious as an eating disorder might need medical attention (thankfully mine only required some counseling–but it almost came to being admitted to a center) however, so please be aware of that. And I am no doctor.

Anyways, after a very long period of time, I started to eat again. And eat I did. I was ashamed at how hungry I was though, so I hid the food and started having ‘binge’ moments. It spiraled into something quite awful, but the WORST part was my lying to myself.

{the trip that helped me start my final road to recovery. Summer ’09}

I was in denial to the extreme.

In Denial NO More

Luckily though, after several months, I was ‘saved’ by several things : my faith, my husband (whom I met in 2009), weight training–which then became a BodyPUMP obsession and love, the outdoors (that trip, above), my patient family, and fitness.

These things (I’ve gone to depth for some them) helped me realize in quite unique ways, that I was in denial and completely hurting MYself because of my lies.

It was REALLY painful. And hard. And something that I don’t talk about much, but I am grateful I could come out on top and help others do the same.

{the man who helped me with it all!! Engagements-March, 2010}

You see, I am in denial NO more.

Once I got the picture and stopped denying the fact that I was hurting myself through all I was doing (oh, and hurting everyone else around me by my lies), I slowly began to heal.

Now, more than ever before, I am in denial NO more.

Becoming fit and taking a hard journey in intense physical activity has healed my wounds and helped me re-discover myself. Maybe that is WHY I am so passionate about what I do?!

You think??! 😉

Each person’s journey is different, of course. Some will never struggle with staring at food or the scale as the enemy (this has never crossed my husband’s mind, for example). Some will never worry if they are skinnier than their friends. And unfortunately some will suffer from the effects of bad choices for a very long time.

BUT, each of us can take our own personal journey through fitness to help us be in denial NO more.

Take care of that precious gift, that body you’ve been given! <3 It will march you through the tough times and the good. And it will be with you in your happiest and most joyous moments.

You don’t want that beautiful body of yours to give up too early on you because you thought it ugly, not worthy, or good enough–now do YOU??

Give YOURself the gift of fitness and the excuses and denial will end. Give up the lies and pick up a barbell. Treat your body as the beautiful gift it is and you will open yourself to an abundant life full of health, life, respect, and freedom.

I learned it the hard way, so here’s my plea to YOU to get on the right track NOW if you’re not.

Come live a life in denial NO more with me :)

{come be a nerd with me too! ;)}

Have a LOVELY day my friends!!!

I am off to PUMP with some amazing women. Can’t wait to add some weight to my bar….. :)

What has helped YOU be in denial NO more?? What excuses did YOU give up recently?? How have YOU been an example of fitness for someone who needed it??

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Comments

  1. haha this makes me laugh (no, not your post, just your self portrait at the end) because that is EXACTLY how i ended my post today, too! you’re right… being honest with myself is important.. i know that I am the one who makes the choices of what i do, what i put in my body, etc. so taking some responsibility can be hard but important. thank you.

  2. How do you handle desserts? My husband doesn’t eat anything but chocolate and is trying to lose weight, so I can’t bake anything he likes. My mom and sister are on diets, so I can’t split things with them. I can’t buy cookies and keep them around because he’ll eat them. On Saturdays I like to have a little treat and would bake half-batches of cookies and freeze them, but lately I’ve been feeling guilty b/c there’s so much sugar in the recipe. Plus, half the fun of baking is to share–not eat alone on Saturday night! And esp. b/c of my obsessive past, I’m scared of ‘binging’ like you mentioned. And I’ve tried healthier desserts but they turned out like your protein pancake experiment. :)

    Any tips would be great!

    • Hehe :) I can relate!

      I just say for me/us it’s all about portion control. It’s like okay, I will enjoy the one cookie or the once scoop (whatever it is) and then move on with life. It takes PRACTICE to be able to do and say that, trust me, it took for-eva!! But, it does come. Over time the body becomes more and more used to less sugar and super sweet things, so that helps too.

      I sometimes make a nice batch of cookie dough–and my husband loves the raw dough, and I like it cooked, so it is still work each time I want a cookie–which makes the desire decrease immensely–but he still has his yummy dessert he loves. Hope that helps <3

  3. Great topic. What has helped me to be in denial no more, is I found out that I am strong, that I can do things I didn’t think I could, I actually tried it, instead of saying I can’t. So for me the denial of not believing I’m my own strengths held me back.

  4. My thoughts pretty much echo Dena’s I was stopping myself, putting what others thought of me ahead of what I thought of myself. And it wasn’t much….

    As women, I think we have this predetermined expectation of perfection – mostly put upon us by ourselves! But we, thankfully, don’t have to be perfect. We just have to do our best. Sometimes that means pushing our own limits, but in my opinion that is when the best of me shines!!

    Thanks for a great post!

  5. Oh my gosh I love this post! It is so true that once you start accepting what you’re doing to yourself and stop denying it that you can truly (and perhaps finally) start overcoming it for good! That was definitely something that I had to realize. I love how motivating and inspiring your posts are :D.

  6. AMEN sister! love this post and everything you’re saying here. i can relate all too well… the first step of battling any struggle and/or addiction is to let go of that denial. thanks for being honest and putting this out there!

  7. I think my blog is a good example of fitness, at least I hope it is!

  8. This post was great and your positivity is seriously infectious :) being in denial is a difficult thing…admitting things to yourself is even harder. It took me a longggg time to admit that I had eating issues, but I’ve never been happier ever since I faced my demons. I love being able to talk to people and inspire people to get healthier and lose weight…i’m living proof that diet and exercise do work. you dont need to have surgery, or take pills…there is no magical solution. slow and steady wins the race…and alot of dedication to your health!

    have a great monday! :)

    • you’re SO right. Once I started admitting to it, it helped SO much! Nice job on being an inspiration to SO many, girl!!

  9. Powerful and beautiful written Annette!

    I gave up denial on Christmas eve 2008 when my hubs bought me 2 pairs of jammies that would later become my goal jammies. I saw myself clearly for the first time in years and I haven’t looked back since.

    Great post!

  10. Great post! Denial is often the biggest barrier, in so many facets of life. The first step to just about anything is being honest about the circumstances. Love this.

  11. You are a-maazing girl :) I love your passion, your honesty, your openness and your dedication to helping others. I haven’t always loved my body, I’ve always been in denial in that sense, but every day I am making that effort to get out there and exercise (even lifting weights now!), and continue to fuel my body with the right foods. I am feeling fitter and stronger each and every day, and LOVING the toning and definition that’s happening around here – yay for muscles!! Thank you for all your inspiration Annette, you continue to inspire me, and I am always, always grateful for that :)

    • YAH for muscles is right! GO you! As you keep on with that, you’ll have even more body confidence, happiness, and loving yourself. It’s a beautiful thing :)

      Have a LOVELY day Clare :)

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